Let's keep this between us
by capolleon
Summary: "It took me a few years to realize what it was. I wasn't there. I wasn't the person that I was born as." You glance up, and Frank's red, Jason's mouth is open like a fish, and Percy and Hazel look confused. Trans!Leo
You figured it out in kindergarten, but you could never put a name to it.

You figured it out the week before your graduation when you were with your mama, shopping for a dress, but suddenly found yourself in the boy's aisle, pulling Esperanza alongside.

" _Mama_ , hurry up." You had said, pulling her along to the boy's sides that the Target had declared with the blue colored wall.

"Maria, calm down." The hassled woman sighed, smiling slightly at the persistence.

You huffed but waited patiently. " _Mama_."

" _Maria_." Your mama said in the same teasing tone, and lifted you off the ground. "Let's go back towards the pretty dresses. You want a pretty dress, don't you?"

You had trashed in her arms and reached towards the blue side. " _No mama_. You're going the wrong way."

Esperanza raised an eyebrow, but sighed relentlessly. "Alright, _mija_. If you insist."

You cheered, and hopped down, darting in between rows of ties, and shirts with sports slogans.

Three shirts later, Esperanza returned, with a yellow dress in hand. "Don't you think this is pretty? It even has a little bow." Her eyes had lit up, as she hugged it to her own body.

You shake your head and point to the shirt in your own arms. "This one."

She gives you a look, and ushers you to a dressing room, and still makes you try the dress on. It fits perfectly as you expected (because mothers were perfect at choosing clothes), but it still doesn't feel _right_. When you look in the mirror, you aren't surprised to see the dress looking amazing, and your mother smile with poorly hidden glee.

Nevertheless, you still spin around, ignoring the way your hair twirls along with the bow and the glitter. Esperanza claps with delight, but you pout and tug on her shirt. " _Mama_." you whine, and point towards the abandoned shirt in the corner of the small area.

Her smile slips off her face as she stares at the dress, and then she looks at your face, and the smile slips back on.

"Alright, _mija._ If you insist." she repeats from earlier, and you hug her tightly, before turning around for her to take off the zipper.

You hardly notice the look of disappointment as she unzips the dress, and undoes the bow.

* * *

It was sort of a big surprise when Maria Rosado-Isabelle Valdez went to her kindergarten graduation with a t-shirt whose design was created to look like a tux, and a pair of jeans.

* * *

During the summer, your hair was tied in ribbons, and you found interest in touching frogs. Other girls your age were disgusted with the thought of even touching such a slimy creature, but then again, you probably wasn't like other girls.

Along with frogs, you liked playing _Hop-scotch_ , jump rope, and touching snake skin. The other kids- _girls_ \- in your neighborhood thought you were the weirdest girl in Houston, but you didn't care.

Whenever you went down to the park with your mama, there were always the other mother's who would whisper things about you.

" _That Maria girl, sure is something else._ " They would say, shaking their heads.

You would just continue riding your Barbie bicycle around, talking to the action figure sitting in your bike's little plastic pink bucket. _Superman_ loved hearing you talk about the coolest bug you caught, or the butterfly you saw, or the airplane you wanted to fly.

The Superman action figure was your bestest friend in the whole wide world, even when your other friends tried to show you their newest Barbie doll. In the summer of 2001, your friends raved about that Barbie with the nice red dress that came out last year.

" _Hey, Maria, check out the doll Mommy bought for me!"_ You ultimately shrugged and turned back to your tea party of super heroes, with of course, Superman in the Guest of Honor chair. You would rather happily drink milk and cookies with _Batman_ _and Robin_ , then brush the blonde hair of the ever so popular doll.

Your birthday passed, and you turned six, gaining a cool _Game Boy_ , and had your training wheels taken off of your dreaded bike. You pleaded for a new bike, and your mother gave you a smile, and a " _We'll see._ "

School started the next week, and it started off without a hitch, as you decided to start the school year off right. Gone was the skirts you were last year, and they were replaced with overalls, and shorts. It wasn't too abnormal, because in first grade, _all_ the girls decided that skirts were horrible to use when play time came around.

You hung around more boys that year, but you were still somewhat of a social pariah. The girls all thought you were weird, because who would rather talk about _icky bugs_ rather than _dress-up_. The boys all thought you were weird, because in your class, none of the girls were as _boyish_ as you were. They all treated you like a special case, and for some time you felt you were.

You didn't mind as much, because you were left alone drawing _Hello Kitty_ , and race cars.

* * *

For Christmas that year, you received a shiny red _Spiderman_ bike- _without training wheels_ \- and a big smile. You also got socks that had baseballs and basketballs at the ankles and a few boys briefs, but you didn't care because you had a _shiny red Spiderman bike._

* * *

That summer, your hair was in two pigtails, as you ran around the house in overalls and ballet flats. Your mother enjoyed braiding your hair, and weaving in ribbons, as you watched cartoons and ate chicken nuggets.

It wasn't often you had _McDonald's_ , but it was pretty amazing on those days, when your mother bought home a paper bag with a grease lined bottom, and the smell of those distinguishable french fries wafting towards your nose. McDonald's was a treat, and it only happened on Friday's when your babysitter, Tia Callida reported how well behaved you were.

You hated your babysitter, as she always tried to provoke you into showing something you knew wasn't normal in the slightest. You knew if your mother came home one day, to see what you two were doing, she would be horrified and would scold you violently. You have only seen your mama _truly_ angry once, and that was when you cut an expensive skirt she bought you, and made them into make-shift pants.

Regardless how much you hated your babysitter, you loved the moment when she praised you of _how much little Maria was improving in her work_ , and _how Maria was such a darling angel_. The look of pride your mama gave you was worth more than a bag of greasy fries, and a milkshake- _okay maybe not the chocolate shake_.

Your birthday passed, and you were seven. Your birthday ended with you with flowers in your hair, and a tool box in possession. As school started, you were now picked up from 2nd grade, then bought to your mother's workshop by Tia. Tia would stay there for two hours, in the back of the shop with you, as your mother worked her job in the front. You dreaded those two hours, as she would help you with homework, then make you do some very weird things.

 _No,_ you did not want to strangle the rattlesnake. _No,_ you did not want to make a new fire for the _already_ warm area. _No,_ you did not want to _touch_ that dead bird. _No,_ you did not want to kill that snake.

But after she left, things were the _best_ , because mama would feed you more crackers, and then ask you for help with some of the cars. You knew it was a strange thing to do for a seven year-old, because every time you explained your afternoon activities to a teacher, they would wrinkle their nose and say, " _Maria, does your mother know how to raise a proper girl?"_. That made you angry for two reasons, because one, your mama was the _best_ mama there was, and two, why did you have to be raised as a proper _girl?_

The second part hurt your head to think about, because it tasted wrong in your mouth. _You_ as a proper _girl?_ It was the funniest thing to hear and it made you explode into a bajillion giggles.

Your mama's response was the same to everyone who questioned her, " _I can raise my child, anyway I want to."_ in the same sassy rapid English, that felt weird to hear from your own Spanish loving mama. The fellow Texans in the neighborhood spoke Spanish well enough to get by, but your mama only spoke English to make a _point._ And she did.

One day, you had a conversation with a girl named Christina Boldman.

She was the perfect child, a little Caucasian blue-eyed blonde haired baby angel, who loved pink and dresses. Compared to you-and practically everyone else in Houston- she was a child model who deserved to be in the famous New York City, or Hollywood where she would probably fit right in. Curiously enough, you later learned that she moved from LA, to live with her rich daddy during a transfer at his job.

"You're _really_ pretty." She had said, braiding your long hair.

You shrugged and turned your head. "No I'm not."

Christina had pointed to her dolls lying on the side. "Yeah, you are. You're like as pretty as _Yasmin_ and _Jessica Rabbit_." The girl referred to the cool _Bratz_ dolls and that old movie _Who Framed Roger Rabbit?_ You had seen both characters, and knew they were both pretty, but you couldn't understand the similarities or understand why you felt so uncomfortable by them.

"No way, _you're_ pretty. I'm like _Buzz Lightyear_ and _Darth Vader_." you said, making explosion sounds, and she giggled.

"I know Buzz Lightyear, but whose _Dark Faker_?" Christina mumbled, as she tied the bottom of your hair, as you gasped.

"You mean _Darth Vader?_ From _Star Wars_?" You gasp, opening your mouth in shock. _Everyone_ had to know who the dude was!

She shook her head, and undid your braid. "Nope. But you're really pretty." Christina said, combing her fingers through your hair.

It wasn't the first time you've been called pretty. Your mama told you that all the time, and those old ladies at the grocery store do too. You had long, curly black hair, that a lot of girls were jealous of. You couldn't understand why, for the life of you, as you liked the girls who had short hair. They weren't the ones who constantly had people touching their hair, or worrying about gum and zippers.

"I like your hair." You mutter towards Christina, who smiles and thanks you. In all honesty, you didn't like her hair too much, but your mama told you to always be polite. _However_ , you did like how cool Christina's hair looked whenever she got a haircut. The golden locks would be snipped away, leaving nothing but bangs and hair that reached her ears. Unfortunately, her hair grew back _magically_ fast, and in a matter of weeks touched her back. You ignored the tiny voice in your head that screamed, _Venus_ , because why would the girl be related to a _planet_. She didn't know _Star Wars_ , so why would she even know the _planets_?

That was the last time you had a conversation with her.

Apparently a week later, she was killed by a drunk dude, who demanded her money. Your teacher explained he had his eye on Christina for a while, and it was probably due to her daddy's riches.

When you explained it to your mama, who had already heard- _news travels fast in your neighborhood_ \- she said it was a monster who killed her. You didn't think much because, one, _everyone_ thought the dude was a monster for killing a toddler, and two, if it was _you,_ you probably would've used your secret abilities and make it out alive.

* * *

The school year passed by rather quickly, with people forgetting who Christina Boldman was. It was like everyone forgot who she was, and whenever you asked about her, you would always get the same response of " _Maria, are you okay? We never knew a Christina Boldman."_ You, of course, didn't forget because _how could you forget the one person who didn't know_ Star Wars.

The summer passed uneventfully, ignoring that one event during the Fourth of July. You had been invited to some kid's birthday. His name was Alfred, and he was your neighbor and he was turning ten.

His house had illegal fireworks in the back yard, and you accidentally set them on fire, so you had to snuff them out with your own fingertips to avoid them from lighting up. Your mother scolded you, but was happy you managed to avoid causing any trouble.

Nevertheless, nothing extremely noteworthy happened. Tia was still a pain of a babysitter, and you managed to catch a cricket (who later died within the hour). You buried the cricket in the park, and set up rocks around it to mark his burial spot. The next day, you forgot where he was.

Your birthday passed, and the age of eight struck hard. It wasn't the fact that you were eight, it was the fact that your hands were suddenly ablaze, and your mama was screaming, as your entire home erupted in flames.

Suddenly the fireman carrying you away was stupid, and you bit his arm, and ran back into the fire so you could save her- _you had too, she was in there_ \- but then he yanked you back, hushing your cries and holding you close to his chest.

The lady who you saw in the dirt was gone, as she had left the moment you started the fire.

Tia was there, in the midst of all the sirens, and blinking lights. She was always there.

* * *

Your entire world had changed, as you were placed in your Aunt Rosa's care.

She called you a _diablo_ , and you shrieked at her, screaming it wasn't your fault. The new burn on her arm kept her quiet for a while, but the flow of child support money stopped her from pushing you into someone else's hands.

The next problem was the way she forced you into skirts once again. She didn't take it kindly when you told her you wanted a new _Superman_ action figure, rather than a new _Cabbage Patch_ doll. She brought you five Cabbage Patch dolls, and forced you into wearing a new dress every Sunday, to go to _church_.

You pleaded everyday, not to dress up, but then the conversation would end up null.

"But I don't _wanna_ got to church." You pleaded, banging on the locked door.

"You need to get that evil devil out of you," Aunt Rosa would holler through the wood, as she pinned up her hair.

"But I don't _wanna_!" You screamed, tearing at your dress. The basement door finally unlocked, and the door opened to a frowning Aunt.

"You're going, and that's final. I don't see Raphael putting up such a fight," The woman said, tightly clasping her hand around your wrist. "It must be the demon inside. _Dios te salve Maria. Llena eres de gracia._ "

Raphael, was your cousin and he was actually pretty cool. But it wasn't _fair_ that _he_ could wear jeans to church, and _you_ had to wear a poofy _dress_. It was the unwritten rule that girls had to be fancy, but boys could wear whatever they wanted, and you hated it.

Going to church was a new experience for you. Mama had never really taken you to church, as she gave some reason on there being some other gods out there besides the Christian one. "Like your father, _mija_. Your father was like one of the gods." She would say, eyes glistening with tears of pride. The only time you've stepped in a church was to see a Christmas play when you were _four_.

Church meant worship, and praising the Christian god, whose name was _God -Jesus-_ , and you were uncomfortable the entire time. There was a tiny voice in your head, nipping at your brain saying how _wrong_ it was to be in the building. But then, there was another voice in your head- much stronger too- that was telling you that the _dress_ was definitely wrong too.

Aunt Rosa's hand was grabbing yours tightly the entire service, as your mind wandered off into other subjects. At church, you were actually quite surprised to see the amount of people dedicated to their God. _Jesus_ was a common name whispered throughout, and the significance carried no value to you. In fact, in your head, you imagined the nice little Mexican kid down the road, whose name was also _Jesus_ , but was pronounced _way_ differently.

But during the entire service, you couldn't help but feel _weird_ standing in the church. You pass it off with how unbelievably _itchy_ your dress was, and how unbelievably _small_ your shoes were. Your shoes had tiny heels that made you want to impale yourself with it over and over again.

On Sunday's after church, you were able to enjoy yourself for a few hours. When arriving home, Aunt Rosa kicked off her shoes and collapsed on her bed, not even remembering to lock you back in the basement. She would then fall asleep for the next three hours, leaving Raphael and yourself to play video games and go outside.

It was then when you realized, how much you missed video games. Before Aunt Rosa, you had a Gameboy, but that burned up in the fire. Besides that, none of the boys wanted to play with you because you were a _girl,_ and none of the girls wanted to play because that stuff was for _boys_. But Raphael didn't care what gender you were. And you liked that about him.

However, it didn't last for long. After nearly four months in Aunt Rosa's care, she decided she couldn't stand you anymore, and sent you away to an orphanage. The good thing was, the kids at the orphanage didn't care what gender you were. They would treat you just the same: like you're not even there. Not that you minded.

By the time you were ten, you had already ran away from there three times, and had slept in the sewers twice. The other time, you spent two weeks huddled in a library, taking good care no one saw you.

After your third run away, they sent you away to another momentary foster home. A few months later, you returned back to the orphanage, skinnier than a stick, and littered with bruises and welts. By then, the number of kids had practically doubled, and you were sent away to another foster home.

Unlike Aunt Rosa, and the home you went to before, this family took great care of you during the summer. The family was known as the Greens and the couple couldn't conceive children of their own. You wondered why they never bothered to adopt, but they seemed okay with momentarily harboring a child, until they could _actually_ get adopted.

On your eleventh birthday, they told you to pack your things, which made your heart soar. Were you actually going to be adopted?

Then they said the dreaded words of, " _Maria, we need to talk about your schooling."_ As it turns out, the couple was just shipping you off to boarding school. A _girls-only_ boarding school.

You pleaded with all your heart, _not to go_ , but they shook their heads, and said " _It'll be fun Maria, just give it a try._ " and you screamed in response. You _couldn't_ go to an all girls school, because you weren't going to _fit in_ or feel like the rest of them.

You screeched like a banshee, and knocked things over, causing mayhem and damage. At midnight you made a ran for it, and vanished into the night. You wished you were a boy, because if you were a boy, you probably wouldn't be in this problem. Probably.

You returned two days later, and the Greens handed you back over to the authorities. You were moved across states to the state of Nevada.

The next home you went to was torture. _No,_ it wasn't like Tia, or Rosa, or that one house you swore you would never go to again. It was a brand new torture and you hated it instantly.

It was the Jones' and they had three daughters of their own, triplets named Kate, Brooke, and Lynn. To be honest, you figured that the married couple had probably expected twins, Katelyn and Brooklyn, but then the doctor gave them a surprise and said, " _Nope, you're having three!"_. Anyway, there was already three girls, and apparently they needed one more.

All the girls were forced into one room, with two bunk beds. The girls were a little older then you, around the age of thirteen, and they _adored_ the color pink, and they adored you. When you told them that one of your names _Rosado_ meant pink, they squealed and gave you a big hug.

Kate and Brooke had long blonde hair and green eyes, while Lynn was stuck with a light brown colored hair and green eyes. Lynn cut her hair like a boy, which you liked a lot. She also happened to like a lot of _Red Hot Chili Peppers, Bon Jovi_ and _Simple Plan._ Lynn was probably your favorite out of all of them.

However, even she fell to the pink curse. The three of them adored dresses, and loved dressing you up in them. They always tried their mother's makeup on you, in an attempt to make you more girly.

"There! Now you look _so pretty_ ," Brooke declared, telling you to smack your lips together. You do, and stare at Brooke.

"I feel like a clown." You mutter reaching up to wipe the glitter from your eyelids, and Brooke rolls her eyes.

"Don't. You'll mess it up. Don't you want to see how Kate's friend likes it?" Brooke asks sweetly, as she guides your hand to your shared bedroom.

"No." You say, tugging your skirt down. There was no need for a eleven- _almost twelve in a week_ \- year old to wear such a tiny and flimsy piece of material.

"Oh, don't be silly. You know Richard is the cutest boy ever. You're a girl, don't you have lots of crushes? I know I did, when I was your age." Brooke rambles, and looks down your shirt, sending a shiver down your back. "Oh man, if only you were a bit older and had a bit more _chest_..." She says licking her lips, leaving you _very_ uncomfortable.

She opens the door to your bedroom, and sure enough there were already two occupants, Kate and Richard.

"Look at _Maria_ , guys. Isn't she adorable?" Brooke says, holding your hand as if you're six.

Richard blinks, and you stare at him. Kate Jones was known for bringing in tons of boys to her room to "study", but Richard Wilson was her best friend. He had blue eyes and blonde hair, and it left your heart thumping rapidly. He was perfect, but you _weren't_. You knew he probably thought you were just a silly child, with a silly schoolgirl crush.

"Yeah, I guess she is. She doesn't act like a girl her age though." Kate commented, as she flips through a magazine.

You're not entirely sure what she means by that, but your happy either way. You didn't act like a _girl_ , or you didn't act you _age_ , were two entirely separate things. Either way, it felt right for both. You, _not_ being a girl, and you _not_ being your age.

"Meh. Kinda hot, kinda not. She'll be cool if she was a dude." Richard shrugs, and you nod happily. You would literally _kill_ to be a dude.

Brooke waves her arms around, maniacally. " _Hello?_ Maria is a total babe! Just wait till she hits puberty, she'll probably have humongous watermelons." Brooke says, cupping her chest with her hands, wiggling her eyebrows.

Richard laughs, and Kate throws a pencil at her. "Stop thinking about incest. That stuff is illegal and _nasty_."

Brooke laughs and floats away towards the closet. "It's not nasty if you've tried it~" Brooke says pulling out a pink skirt among some other things.

She throws it at you, and ushers you towards the bathroom, and your eyes zero in on the skirt.

"Strip." Brooke exclaims, already peeling off your dress. You were left in nothing but a pair of boy shorts underwear, and an undershirt.

Brooke makes a humming sound, and makes a move to take off your underwear, until you stop her. She shrugs, and take her hands away from _that_ area, and hands you a pair of more lacier- _girlier_ \- panties. You replace them slowly, and stare when she rips off your undershirt.

Brooke makes a noise from the back of her throat, and squints at your bare chest.

"Hmm," Is all she says, before she turns you around to hook a bra onto you.

"What's ' _hmm_ '?" You ask, as she spins you back around, and adjusts the garment to fit your frame.

"Nothing. I thought you would have _some_ kind of boobies." Brooke says, staring at your lack of chest.

You hugs your skinny arms over your chest. "Why? I don't want them."

Brooke blinks, before reaching down to pick up the shirt she picked up for you. "I had little baby boobs when I was eleven. Now I'm all grown up, and have big girl boobs. And why don't you want them? I wanted them." Brooke questions, and you raise your arms over your head.

"They don't _do_ anything. Just lumps on your body. Guys don't get them, so why should I?"

Brooke pulls the shirt over your hair, and grabs the dreaded skirt. "Hmm, I guess they _are_ just useless lumps right now. And _of course_ , guys don't get them. Guys are the one's who _like_ them on girls. Lift your right leg."

You slip your legs into the skirt, and sit down on the floor. "Well then, I don't want to be a girl. I don't want them. Let me be a boy."

Brooke stretches out the pantyhose and gives you a look of horror. She lifts one of your legs, and rolls it on slowly before switching to the other leg. "You can't choose whether or not you want to be a boy or girl like that. You have a vagina, you're a girl. You have a penis, you're a boy."

"Well maybe I'll be a boy, _with_ a vagina."

"Maybe." Brooke murmurs, and lifts you off the ground. She then fishtails your hair quietly, leaving you to your thoughts of being a boy. Being a boy doesn't sound like a bad idea, and somewhere in your mind, a voice is screaming it's approval.

Brooke decides you're pretty enough and drags you to Richard who says, " _Yeah, she is kinda pretty."_ Even though it was a compliment, it still made you uncomfortable. Then she drags you back to the bathroom to change back into your regular clothes.

When you take off your skirt, Brooke suddenly presses her hand inside your underwear and pushes her thumb against your lady parts. You turn red, and try to turn away, thinking she was going to _bad touch_ you, but then Brooke speaks.

"You feel this? That's your vagina, not a penis. A girl part, not a boy part. But you can still be a boy even with it." Her fingers gives a final rub that makes you shudder, and her hand is suddenly gone.

She gives you a wink, and waits for you to finish changing, as you think about her words. _You can be a boy even with lady parts._

A week later, the day after you turn twelve, she brings up the topic again.

"So if you were a boy, what would your name be?" Brooke asks, as you read on your bed.

You close your book. "I don't know. Chris, maybe. I _do_ like Dave."

Brooke sighs and flips her magazine over. Justin Timberlake's face stares up at you, judgingly. "How about Carlos? Or Billie, from _Green Day._ Or Diego from _Go, Diego, Go!_ "

You give Brooke a look. "That last one was _so_ racist. Might as well name Juan and give me a hat filled with guacamole, so I can fit your perfect Spanish stereotype." You roll your eyes, and roll onto your back.

Brooke shrugs, and looks down at you with a smile. "It should be something _dreamy_. Like James from _James Bond._ Or something suave like Bruce from _Batman_."

You crinkle your nose. "Bruce Valdez? Uh, _no_."

Brooke shrugs again, and flips through a mental list in her head. "I thought about it in my swim class. Let see...we have Bruce, Peter, Leo, Tony, _Sam_ ooh how I love me some _Sam-_ "

"Wait." You cut her off, thinking about one of the names she said.

" _Ooh,_ so you're a _Sam_ lover too? What is Sam short for, is it-"

" _No._ " You cut her off again, as the name runs through your name. "Where did _Leo_ come from? The rest of those could be from superhero names, and TV shows, but _Leo?_ "

Brooke scrunches up her face in thought. "Uh, Leo? I think I took it from _Leonardo Di Caprio?_ He's kinda really hot."

You nod, ignoring the offhand comment, and instead mentally reach out for the best part of the comment.

 _Leo. Leo, Leo,Leo, LeoLeoLeoLeoLeo. Leo._

"I like it." You finalize, "Leo Valdez."

* * *

A week later, you run away again, as the rest of the family didn't accept your name change. When you come back to the orphanage in Nevada, you tell everyone your name is Leo. No one believes you, and you quickly realize why.

Your hair.

Your hair was still long, as it have never been touched by scissors, except from a few trims done by your mama. Other than those few half inches cut off, you hair has been a virgin to cutting.

It pained you everyday to hear someone deny your true name as Leo. One day, you were desperate. You were alone in the room, with a pair of scissors in your hand.

 _Snip._

You watch as a lock of hair fell to the ground, and you make a happy noise from the back of your throat.

 _Snip. Snip, snip._

Slowly your hair falls to the ground, as you cut off chunks at a time. Your head feels lighter, as well as your heart, like it feels like it's slowly coming at peace to what you were doing. The hair surrounds you like a shedding animal, and you can't wait to see what it would look like in the mirror.

You drop the scissors and dart to the bathroom, unseen. The light flickers on, and you stare at your head, and what you created. You hair is cut up, all right. It's cut in crazy places, so uneven it actually _hurts_. The sight of it makes you laugh so hard, you fall to your knees and cry.

Ten minutes later, someone finds you and you're taken to a hair salon to cut your hair properly. At the end of the _long_ trip, your hair looks like a curly mess, but it was cut properly.

But most importantly, it's cut like a boy's.

* * *

When you're thirteen, you get placed in Wilderness. It's like a living mess of mismatched kids, who can't do anything correct for their lives.

It's perfect.

Before you're shipped off, the orphanage gave you money to buy an entire new wardrobe at Walmart. The lady at the register didn't bat an eye at the boy's clothing, as she had assumed you were a boy. That was the most fulfilling moment of your entire life.

Wilderness was okay. The papers you had to fill out, made you feel extremely uncomfortable as you filled out your name as " _Maria Rosado-Isabelle Valdez_ " rather than " _Leo Foster Valdez."._ It hurt even more to check the _Female_ box.

But, under nicknames you scribbled out your true name of _Leo,_ and was satisfied with that.

When you arrived at the main office, with your duffle bag, the lady addressed you as Leo, but still sent you to the _Girls_ wing to put down your stuff. You were shoved into room 69, much to your inappropriate glee and horror. There was a girl already in the room, and her name turned out to be Lindsay.

You spent a week in that nail-polish smelling hell, until you tried to run away again, bringing your number to a total of _six runaways_. Unfortunately, your weird scream-happy coach caught you instead. You were brought back to your hall of shame, and Lindsay shook her head snobbishly. Lindsay didn't like you- the feeling was mutual- because you referred to yourself as Leo, and dressed like a boy. She called you a," _reverse-drag queen_ " and a " _transgender"_.

You've heard of a drag queen, and knew of the bad terms that usually came with it, but the word _transgender_ was still foreign to your virgin mouth.

So you decided to look it up of Lindsay's laptop. You choose the moment she takes a shower to look it up, because Lindsay would be _angry_ if she found you even touching the thing.

As usual, Google tries to be helpful, and the definition pops up. You curse, not sure exactly what, " _ **denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male of female gender**_ " means. You scroll down the links and click on random websites, hopeful to find something truly amazing.

Then you find it. As you read, your heart thumps methodically as you find the definition. It suits you perfectly, and you couldn't find the definition for the last few years of your life.

You were a transgender.

* * *

When your fourteenth birthday came up, you had no one to celebrate with. But you were extremely happy with your tiny party where a store bought cupcake had a makeshift candle in it, that you lit with a lighter you stole. You were happy nevertheless, because you were enjoying your first birthday as a new you, who truly understood _you_.

Your heart was light, and soared when later that day, you asked for a room change- not just because you hated Lindsay- but because of your status.

For a week, Wilderness had no idea where to put you. Would they put you with the females because of your _anatomy_ , or would they put you with the males because of who you _identified as_? During that week, you had to sleep in the teacher's wing, and you found out a little _too_ much about your coach.

Then, you were shipped to the boys side.

It was a lot better than being with Lindsay. You were in a room by yourself, because the Wilderness leaders didn't know if placing you in that wing with another male was a good idea yet. When you arrived in the wing, the boys pretty much thought you were a guy already. You didn't have any of the more obvious parts- _breasts_ \- of a woman, and no one could see through your pants. They all just thought you were a skinny dude, with longer hair, who was placed in the wrong wing. After all, you were already known as Leo Valdez.

The teachers adjusted quickly, saying _he_ pronouns instead of _she_ , which was the most _amazing_ feeling. Not many people noticed much of a difference, as it was, you had no friends. But it was nice to hear someone make an effort. Occasionally, someone slipped up, but that didn't change your mood at all.

You were just happy to feel like yourself for the first time.

* * *

"Dude, no one cares." The girl said, and the boy opposite her scoffed.

" _Excuse you_ , Piper? I hope you know _hundreds_ of girls would like to get with me." The boy said, offended.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Beat it, Dylan. I don't want to talk to you right now."

Dylan folded his arms. "Babe, _everyone_ wants to talk to me. Especially you, hon." He curled a finger under her chin, until Piper slapped it away.

"I said, leave me alone. Why can't guys like you take a hint?" Piper gritted her teeth, and you could see her fingers clench into fists.

"Hmm," Dylan turns to pretend he's in thought and taps his finger on his chin. "How about, _nah_?"

You decide to step in, and throw the basketball at his head. You miss, and it rolls past him towards the other side of the gym. "Dude, she said leave her alone."

Dylan narrows his eyes at you and laughs. " _Ha_. The Reject Indian gets saved by the homeless orphan? That's _funny_."

Piper looks like she's about to punch out his lights, and you weren't going to stop her. Unfortunately, the coach appears out of nowhere.

"What'd I tell you, cupcake? Where's my lay-up?" Coach Hedge screams at Dylan, who winces and runs past to grab a basketball.

"Valdez, McLean. Give me five laps around. And next time actually play in a game!" The coach screamed, and you ignore the spit that flew onto your cheek.

You and Piper break into a jog.

"So, uh, thanks?" Piper says, sounding unsure of her own words. "But I can fight my own battles, dude."

"Nah, it's fine. I know what it's like to have people _get up all in your grill_." You say, and take another step forward.

"Really? Didn't think that happened as much to guys- wait, Coach isn't looking we can walk now."

The two of you slow down to a walk, and it's quiet for a lap and a half. Then you say something else.

"Names Leo. You?"

"Piper." Piper shrugs and you feel like you just made a new friend.

Another happy feeling.

* * *

You and Piper are friends for a while, until your birthday comes to past, and you're suddenly fifteen.

Piper somehow manages to get an entire cake, with some candles and you bring your lighter. You both decide to meet on the roof of the teachers wing, _just because_ , and celebrate there.

It's ten at night, when you find Piper sitting on the roof, with a party hat on, and a crown next to the cake.

"Happy birthday, dweeb." Piper says, handing you the crown as you sit down. It's plastic, and it says the word ' _Princess_ ' in a hot pink cursive, but you put it on. It's probably the only time you don't feel uncomfortable with the feminine word, because it's _Piper_.

"Thanks. Let me light up these candles." You say as you light them up, counting each candle. Piper didn't notice your finger lighting them up, rather than a lighter. You only resorted to your finger, because it was faster, and all that excited energy ( _because for the first time you have a true friend)_ needed to be used up somehow.

"Uh, why are there 25 candles?" You ask, blinking at the soft glow of the candles. With the candle light, you can see the word 'Congratulations' written in red icing, littered with rainbow sprinkles.

"It spells out your name. See, L-E-O." Piper points out. It does.

"Thanks."

Piper nods, and she looks out at the moon. "Dude, make a wish. I don't want candle wax in my cake."

You blink, and look at her. Her entire right side is glowing softly due to the candles, and you can see part of her eyes change color from a green to a blue. Her shoes are off and she has little tiny toes hanging off the edge of the roof. She's quite literally the perfect female, and the exact opposite of what you want to be.

You decide on a wish, and blow out the candles. You hope your wish comes true, as you watch the remainder of the flames burn out and turn into smoke.

"Amazing. What'd you wish for? Lemme guess, a _girlfriend_?" Piper says, as she pulls out a flashlight, and turns it on. The light momentarily blinds you, until Piper places it on the ground. It makes your shadows jump on to trees that are suddenly illuminated, and Piper cuts a piece of cake.

"Can't say. It'll ruin the magic." You tease and Piper scoffs.

"You don't believe in magic."

"Neither do you, Pipes. Besides, science is eternal."

You bit into the cake, hoping it's chocolate. It is, and it's _delicious_.

The two of you pretty much devours half of the cake, and agree to just throw the rest off the roof to give it to some of the forest animals. You watch the cake fall to a sickening splat, and a raccoon almost instantly runs to it.

Piper lays on her back, and stares at the stars, and you follow as well.

"Dude imagine if we were stars." You say, feeling slightly drowsy. You feel a phantom pain in your stomach and put it off as eating _way_ too much cake.

Piper turns to look at you, and reaches to turn the flashlight off. "I'll be the amazing star. I'll be like the _sun_."

You snort, and feel Piper's hand clasp around yours. Her hand is cool, as opposed to your unnaturally warm one. "I'll be the R136a1."

Piper laughs and it comes out as short breaths. "You're such a nerd. Only you would be a bunch of numbers and letters. I think we're talking about _stars_ here, Leo."

You laugh, but not for the same reason as Piper does. " _I know_. The R136a1, is like the biggest star we've discovered. Like _ever_."

Piper makes a noise from the back of her throat, and turns her head to face the stars again. "And when did we find that out? I swear, you probably came from the future. Are you sure you're in the right year? 2010, not 5010?"

You shrug. "We figured it out this year. Well, how big it was, we figured it out."

Piper's silent for a few minutes, and you play around with the flashlight.

"Hey, dude, I can see the Big Dipper from here." Piper points upwards and you giggle.

"That's _not_ the Big Dipper. I think pretty much every astronomer can confirm how wrong you are."

"Whatever dweeb."

You slowly fall asleep, not even minding the clasped hands or the way Piper's breaths slow down. You simply just drift off into inky blackness.

Your dream was weird. You dreamed of blood, gushing out every pore of your body, and you were drowning in it. Then you saw a boy, the perfect specimen, and he stares at you, tilting his head. His mouth then opens, and out pours more blood, and it wakes you up.

You wake up, sweaty and feel like you need to piss. You gasp, as you feel a pain in your stomach, and to your surprise, there was dry blood covering part of your clothes. There wasn't a lot, but there was more than enough to make you worry.

"Piper!" You shake her awake, and she rubs her eyes.

"Wha- what the heck?" Piper says, because now she's suddenly awake, and suddenly you're crying because the pain in your stomach hurts far more than it should.

"Holy _crap_ , Leo are you bleeding?" Piper's face of concern fills your blurry vision, and she lifts you up like a helpless bride.

A few minutes later, you find yourself in the bathroom, on the floor, as Piper stresses out.

"You have blood on your pants. Did you cut yourself?" Piper's confusion makes you cry harder because it _hurts._

" _Piper._ " You whine, and Piper winces and takes off your sneakers.

"I'm going to check what happened, okay Leo? Just stay calm." She doesn't get a response, because you're too busy hurting, and you're 99% sure you just peed on yourself.

Piper slips off your pants, and she gasps when she stares at your thin boxers, that have blood leaking through. Or maybe she's surprised to see the lack of a bulge, that's _supposed_ to be there, but _isn't_ because your body screwed up when it was developing in the womb.

"Leo..." Piper says slowly, and you slip a hand to your boxers, not caring that she's looking.

You nearly scream when your fingers return, completely blood soaked, and smelling like a nasty fish market. Piper disappears into a stall, and comes out with a wad of toilet paper.

She lifts you up slowly, and pulls down your boxers, before making you sit on the toilet. She hands you the toilet paper and tells you to wipe the blood up as best as you can. You can hardly hear as she searches herself for money to buy something.

Your crying quiets down, as Piper returns with a wrapped object. You've seen it a few times in your life, but you didn't know what it was for. She unwraps it, and gives you the white paper. Except it doesn't _feel_ like paper, it feels softer, and sort of like a diaper with tiny sides that are sticky. In fact, one entire side is sort of sticky.

"Leo, is this your first period?" Piper finally says, frowning, as she snatches the diaper thing away.

You nod, not even sure what a _period_ was. You recall in sixth grade, you were supposed to have an assembly with the school about that and _other things_ , but you didn't because you were pulled out for a dentist appointment. The term has been tossed around before -you know realize mainly with just girls- as people around you gushed about ' _their first period_ '.

Piper nods in response, and you sniffle as she hands you a pair of underwear. _Girly_ with purple polka dots and a pink hem.

"Here, this might work better than with boxers." Piper murmurs as she pulls the bloody boxers from around your ankles, and slides on the new pair.

Piper demonstrates how to put on the diaper thing, and calls it a _pad_. She's surprisingly calm, and leaves the stall to wait for you to get comfortable with it on. You can't wear your own sweatpants, because it has a huge reddish-brownish dot at the crotch, so you walk out with your legs bare. The _pad_ feels slightly uncomfortable, but thin enough to move with.

"So, Leo." Piper says, avoiding your gaze, as you pull on the clean sweatpants that she hands you. She finishes at that, leaving the bathroom completely silent.

"Thank you." You say, scratching the back of your neck.

"No problem. You can keep the underwear, but not the sweatpants. I actually like those for when I'm on my..." Piper trails off, motioning to the pants on your legs.

"Yeah." You say, sticking your hands in your pockets.

Piper never brings it up again or asks any questions about your _vagina_ , but the next day she shows up at your room with a package filled with more of those dreaded _pads_. She explains to you what a period is, filling in the empty holes that you never learned as a child. Piper also mentions how weird it is to get your first period when you're around fifteen, but says it's because you're developing late. She claims it's rare, but not _impossible_.

You're not sure if that's good news or bad news, but you know one thing.

You're becoming the dreaded woman.

* * *

Sometime in the middle of September, you meet Jason Grace.

He's a really cool dude, who thought you were a bit disorganized, as he became your new roommate. Thank god, he didn't see the secret stash of panties, or pads that you keep under your bed, or else you wouldn't be able to explain it at all.

At first, you were surprised that Jason even _became_ your roommate. You were the special case, and Wilderness left you alone for a while. But then, here comes Grace, who manages to join you in your living quarters.

Piper always manages to slip her way into the Boys wing without getting in trouble at night, and Jason didn't seem to mind. Piper took a liking to Jason, a little too much for your comfort.

It only occurred to you, the second week he came, that you've seen him before. He was the boy in your dream, the night before you got your first period, and that creeped you out majorly. That day wasn't the first- or last- time you had a weird dream, but it was the first time you've met someone who was _in your dreams_. You considered Jason as literally the boy of your dreams.

Another weird thing happened, the day he came. Everything felt...off. It was like everything became crystal clear, and brighter. You soon found yourself waking up, like it's a dream only to realize it was reality. There was stirring in your belly every morning, but it disappeared the instant you looked at Jason. But the brightness stayed, and every movement was suddenly _easier_ , and every color seemed like it was so much _brighter_.

You and Piper became rapid friends with Jason a little _too_ fast. It was like an instant connection in your head, and you just attached to Jason like a leech.

Then you found out Dylan was a _venti_ , and the father you never had was a god. Charming. You found out you had _siblings_ and _cousins_ and _a family_ who treated you better than you could've ever imagined.

You were then forced into an amazing quest that you regretted, but loved at the same time. Like when Festus crashed, and the three of you landed elsewhere.

"How far is that from Chicago?" Piper asked, wincing at the pain in her ankle.

Jason handed Piper a canteen and you wonder if he was going to offer some to you."Maybe three-fourths of the way from Quebec? The thing is, without the dragon, we're stuck traveling overland."

"No way. It isn't safe." You say, hoping they would listen to you. Traveling overland would be like traveling through a zoo covered in fresh meat.

Piper nodded."He's right. Besides. I don't know if I can walk. And three people- Jason, you can't fly that many across the country by yourself."

"No way." Jason agreed. "Leo, are you sure the dragon didn't malfunction? I mean, Festus is old, and-"

"And I might not have repaired him right?" You feel irritated, that Jason could possibly suggest such a thing. It took hard effort to work on Festus as it was, and now someone was questioning him?

"I didn't say that." Jason protested. "It's just- maybe you could fix it."

"I don't know." You respond. Your chest hurts, and has been for a while, and you want to rub it. You _need_ to rub it, because it hurts and it's _sore_. "I'd have to find where he landed, if he's even in one piece." You pull out some screws to ignore the burning sensation in your chest.

"It was my fault." Piper says, and you wish she didn't. It was _your_ fault that Festus went all _Willy Wonka_ on you guys, because you weren't perfect.

"Piper," Jason says reassuringly, "you were asleep when Festus conked out. It couldn't be your fault."

"Yeah, you're just shaken up," You agree. "You're in pain. Just rest."

Piper bites her lip nervously, and you knew she was hiding something. Something happened and she wasn't telling anyone. The right side of your chest feels sore, and you become hyper-aware of the fabric touching your nipple.

You stand up, and Jason looks up at you. "Look, um, Jason, why don't you stay with her, bro? I'll scout around for Festus. I think he fell outside the warehouse somewhere. If I can find him, maybe I can figure out what happened and fix him."

"It's too dangerous." Jason argues, and you want to hit him in the head. "You shouldn't go alone."

You respond quickly. "Ah, I got duct tape and breath mints. I'll be fine. You guys just don't run off without me."

You reach into your tool belt, and ignore the cloth brushing your fingers, and pull out a flashlight before running downstairs, outside.

Your lean against the warehouse wall, and breathe out a heavy sigh, and take off your shirt. You reach back into your tool belt and pull out the cloth, and a tape dispenser to wrap around your chest. You looked down, and the gulped before looking back up to the sky again. You didn't want to admit that those were little tiny _breasts_ you had.

You end up binding yourself too tight, and nearly suffocate yourself, but when you look down again, it looks like you're still flat as a board. You make a mental note to look up what other transgenders use to keep other people from seeing your chest.

Then you see the glinting in the sun. Festus. You make a run for it to see Festus sitting among the Porta-Potties. Great.

* * *

You nearly blow up New Rome. Half of you believes it was the unadulterated rage that came from the mood swings during your period, and the other half knows it's because of the eidolons.

Whatever it was, you just knew that only a few people trusted you now. Which should be a problem, considering the seven of you were supposed to be a team together, who saves the world.

Can't exactly save the world without anyone trusting you to do it.

* * *

"Gods of Olympus." Piper stared at you. "What happened to _you_?"

Your hair was slicked back, which reminded you to ask Piper to cut it sooner of later. Goggles on your forehead, a lipstick mark on your cheek, fake tattoos all over your arms were only just some of the damage received from the Narcissus event.

"Long story." you said, hoping none of your happiness seeps in. "Others back?"

"Not yet," Piper said.

You curse quite loudly, but it still doesn't bring your mood down. You were quite proud of what happened at the lake. All the lake nymphs were helpful in achieving the bronze sheet, and actually believed you were the bomb dot com. They accepted you as one of the hottest and most amazing guys to walk on the Earth.

It felt amazing.

You're not entirely sure when you begin to stare at Jason.

Jason was perfect, the only people who couldn't see that have to be blind. Or maybe you were biased, because in general, you loved the thought of blond hair and blue eyes. The American stereotype also might've forced that in your head, because even though the country was considered a mixing pot, blonde and blue seemed to be the perfect American.

Regardless of _that_ , Jason was still perfect. You find yourself considering him as a rugged handsome with a great _everything_. He was exactly what you wanted to be.

Sometimes, you find yourself divided between Piper and Jason. Piper you actually knew for a longer time, and you could connect with better. She was great really. Then there was Jason, who became a role model, and someone who made you feel weird. Jitters, really.

* * *

"Okay." You relent. "Show me."

Hazel takes your hand, and the world dissolves into black. The feeling gives you a bubbly feeling your stomach, which almost tickled, but in an extremely uncomfortable way.

When you first get sucked into Hazel's memory, everything was confusing. In the fourties, there were some definite things that you were happy the South got rid off. Hazel explained it was the past, but you couldn't believe until you saw past Hazel.

And then you saw yourself. Or at least, Sammy.

It was really funny at first. You wanted to laugh but you also wanted to cry and scream. Sammy Valdez looked like you. Except he was a _he_ , so he looked like a _male_ version of you. He wasn't the one hiding his anatomy.

You suck in your breath.

"You see?" Hazel- the present day Hazel- asked. She probably thought you were thinking about the similarities between the two of you. Which you were, but not in the way she was thinking.

Then the scene changes, and you're both confused why you suddenly see an old man, until your mama comes into the picture, and you nearly cry. Your mama looks as beautiful as ever, and it hurts too see her again, after knowing what you've done.

For some reason, every _mija_ is replaced with a _mijo_ , and every _Maria_ is replaced with a _Leo_. Wasn't this mumbo jumbo supposed to be based off memories? You secretly thank whoever was in charge for changing it. It brought a strange sense of security and joy.

Beside you, Hazel's sobbing, and talking to the ghost image of your great grandfather.

"Oh, Sammy," Hazel chokes out. "No, a curse didn't keep me away. I _wanted_ to come back. I died!"

The old man didn't seem to hear. He smiled down at the baby -smiled down at _you_ \- and kissed you on the head. "I give you my blessing, Leo. First male great grand-child! I have a feeling you are special, like Hazel was. You are more than a regular baby, eh? You will carry on for me. You will see her someday. Tell her hello for me."

Words had never felt so heavy on you, and besides the tears in your eyes, you held a grin on.

* * *

"What the actual Hades is your real name?" Piper asks, as she bites into her pizza.

You shrug, not giving an actual answer. "Leonardo."

Piper rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean. Your _birth_ name."

You hesitate. "I dunno Piper. I don't exactly like it."

"Oh. Sorry then." Piper looks crestfallen, and you sigh. You owed her as much as your name, you guess.

"Maria."

Piper perks up, and smiles. "Maria what?"

"Maria Rosado-Isabelle Valdez." You roll your eyes, as your tongue rolls off the dreaded name.

Piper chews carefully. "That's too bad. I do like Leo a lot better, man."

"Glad you think that way. Can you answer a question?" You shift in your seat that you took on top of the table. "Why do my ribs hurt? Girls are weird."

Piper raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

You feel uncomfortable talking about. "It's nothing really. Tell me about you and Jason."

Piper throws you a concerned glance, but wipes her fingers across her jeans. "Me and Jason ar nothing really. You remember Reyna?"

"Duh. You talk about her _all_ the time." You snatch the crust off Piper's plate. She doesn't mind, she never eats the crusts.

Piper uses the back of her hand to hit your arm. " _Anyway_ , something's telling me he's interested in someone else. I'm think it's Reyna, but sometimes," PIper shakes her head. "I don't know anymore."

"Maybe it's your love powers." You suggest, and Piper makes a face.

"Yeah, _those_. Thanks a lot mom." Piper has no enthusiasm as she 'thanks' her mother.

You reach up to shift your makeshift binder. "Uh, do you hear that?"

Piper lifts her head, looking around. "Hear what?"

"Exactly. I don't hear anything." Your eyes widen, as the Argo tilts a little bit.

Piper makes a move, but pauses. "Is that singing?" Both of your eyes lock onto Piper's, and in an instant, you're both running to see what was going on outside.

Nothing was going on. Literally.

Percy and Jason were staring off into space, as a fog drifted over the entire ship. The singing was much more clear now, and its melodious tunes hit you like a bullet. Frank was in the shape of a cat for some reason, and was purring loudly. Hazel was besides him, shaking the poor cat to death.

"Hazel, what's going on?" Piper called out, as the singing told of a sad song that seemed to get more and more depressing as the time passed.

Hazel turns around, eyes going frantic. "I don't know! There was singing, and then the fog came-"

The fog grew thicker, and the next verse rang out, clear as day:

 _The flame is everything to blame_

 _When we all die_

 _The heavens will cry_

 _And so we sing our pitiful tune_

 _As the seven all lead us to our inevitable doom_

"What does that even mean?" You yell, shuffling through your toolbelt for your familiar hammer. It returned, its 3-pound weight resting comfortably in your hand.

"I'm not sure." Piper admits, staring into the distance. "Jason! Percy! Frank! Move from the edge of the boat!"

The three boys head turned simultaneously, with a confused look on their faces.

"Piper?" Jason asks unsure, as he took a step backwards. The singing returns, and Jason's eyes glimmer a sparkly blue, as he turns back to the waves.

"What's happening?" Hazel asks confused, as the wind blew her hair back. The ship was rocking back and forth, as the waves turned darker and darker. Clouds rolled over your head, and you think you're going to be seasick.

"Sirens!" Someone screams out. Your head whips around, to see Annabeth running across the deck.

" _What?!_ " Piper calls out, her voice getting lost in the wind. The song grew louder,

 _Oh no, it's the dove who needs no love_

 _The girl who tries to hide_

 _The gem who has died_

 _Won't you let us have some fun?_

 _As the world's time is on the run_

Annabeth makes a face. "Sirens, like in Odysessus' adventure. They're creatures who capture sailors- no _men_ \- by taking the form of what someone desires and-"

"Singing?" The word gets caught in your throat.

Annabeth nods, and turns to you with a bewildered look on her face. "You should've been affected too, Leo. Why aren't you-"

"It doesn't matter," Piper's voice cuts in. "How do we kill them?"

Annabeth winces. "I'm not sure yet. We just need to keep the boys from jumping off into the water. There's a theory that they'll kill themselves if we manage to escape-"

"Easier said than done." You mutter, and take off running to the nearest male. Percy was the closest, and he looked to be the one closest to jumping off.

Your hands reach out to tackle him, and Percy rolls to the ground. Your breath gets knocked out of you, and for a moment it's hard to breathe. You sit on Percy's stomach, and hope it doesn't do too much damage to him. His eyes glitter the same blue sparkle that Jason's did not too long ago.

" _Mom_!" Percy lets out a heart wrenching sob, and pushes you off of him. He crawls on his hands and knees towards the edge. "I'm coming for you, Mom!" The sirens song was working, and Percy wanted what he most desired. To spend time with his mother again.

 _Go ahead boys be our toys_

 _Take a jump or even a swim_

 _Go ahead young sailors, dive right in_

 _Maybe you'll be our main course_

 _We're all so hungry, we can eat a horse_

You land on your wrist and gasp out in pain. You still make an attempt to keep Percy away. Your hands lock on his ankles. Percy kicks you in the face, and you cry out when a spot of blood drips on the hardwood. "Damn it, fish breath." You curse. The blood will be a pain to clean up, and your nose stings.

Percy squirms in your hold, and manages to kick your hands off of him. He stands up, and looks like he's about to jump off, when you make one final attempt to grab him. The son of Poseidon drops once again, and you sit on his legs.

"Sorry, Percy," You lift your hands to his feet. "But you forced me to do this." You untie his sneakers, and retie them again, this time tying them together.

He would never figure out how to undo that in time. For extra precautions, you summon tape, and tape his ankles and wrists together. Wadded up gum wrappers go into both of Percy's ears, as you chew on pieces of spearmint gum.

"Mommy." Percy whimpers, but falls silent once the gum wrappers plug in his ears. His eyes close, but the glitter is gone.

You wipe your sleeve across your face, smearing the blood dripping from your nose. When you look up, you see Hazel peacefully holding a subdued cat-Frank in her arms, and Annabeth rushing over. Then you see Piper struggling with Jason.

" _Leo!_ " You're not exactly sure which one said it, Jason or Piper, but you make an effort to run towards them. You wince as your left hand falls limp, and finally deem it as useless as of now. Blood from your nose curled on your upper lip.

Jason seems to be really confused. Piper's talking calmly, and her voice cuts through the fog like a knife. Whenever Jason glanced at Piper, the sparkle in his eyes disappears, but returns when he looks longingly at the waves.

Piper's words are slowly losing effect, you began to realize with horror. Jason inches towards the edge, and Piper becomes more frantic. Her commands turn into pleas, turning more and more useless.

When Jason jumps, a million thoughts go into your head. It was like your mind took a brain fart, and everything was cloudy and cluttered. But there was still the very clear thought in your head.

 _I need to save Jason_.

You jump in, and plunge into the icy waters.

* * *

Everything's hazy now. It's like when you turn on the cable set, but nothing is working so a black and white flickering screen appears.

It cleared up as soon as it started, and you were suddenly in a room. The room was a sterilizing white, and there was nothing there but white walls. Your sneakers squeak against the floor, and you realize your clothes are soaking wet causing a puddle to surround you.

"Hello." You glance up, to see a girl staring at you. You've never seen her before, or at least you don't _think_ you have. There's some kind of feeling of familiarity and acknowledgment.

She has long hair. It was dark and curly and it was how you pictured yours to be if you were a girl. Her skinny frame left narrow hips, and a small chest that you knew all too well. Chocolate eyes bore into you, with a small smile gracing her face.

"Hi, Maria." You say.

The girl nods, and you collapse on your feet. The floor feels hard against your palm, and you cry out when your other hand hits the ground. Maria crouches down in front of you, and pushes back a piece of hair to behind your ear.

"You're so handsome." Maria says, and you're surprised when her voice sounds exactly like yours. A little unnerving to be honest.

You close your eyes. "Where am I?"

Maria's-your- voice echoes through the room. "You're sleeping. You need to rest for a while."

"This is a dream?" You ask, clenching your eyes closed. You don't want to be here, you don't want to be stuck alone with _yourself._ The alternate version of yourself, the screwed up version of yourself.

"Of course, _mijo_." You gasp and open your eyes.

"Mama?" you whisper out, and Maria was gone and replaced with your mama.

Esperanza laughed. "I'm so proud of you. You're the best son a mother could ask for."

" _Mama!"_ You cry out, when your sight flickers back to the black and white screen and the sound of white noise fills your ears. It flickers back to white room, and your mama is gone and Maria is back.

You're not entirely sure when you begin sobbing. Maria's arms wrap around you, and you embrace your other self.

It was a nice feeling.

* * *

Your father visits you when you're in this weird dream-like state.

You were talking to Maria, when your vision flashes again, and you're in his workshop. You turn to focus on something else rather than him.

"Hello, Leo. That is what you prefer the most?" Hephaestus said awkwardly. He scratched his beard, and flicked up his welding goggles. Intense dark eyes stare down at you.

"Yeah," You shrug. "What did you want?"

Hephaestus turns away from you and you hear a banging noise as he fiddles with something. "Nothing. I'm going to wake you up."

You blink. "Whaddya mean ' _wake me up_ '?" You pretty much figured you were dead when you saw your mother… and yourself.

"You didn't get it, yet?" Hephaestus makes a grumbling noise, and another banging sound is heard. "You're in a coma, boy."

" _What?_ Aren't I dead, yet?" You clench your fist. "Why do you have to put me through so much?"

Hephaestus makes a clicking sound with his tongue (or maybe it's from the machine he's fiddling with?). He's nervous talking to you, and you can tell because he's screwing around with a bunch of materials. You can tell, because you do the same thing. Hephaestus sets down a wind-up toy robot, the kind that when it gets winded up, it waddles around in awkward robotic movements. He winds it up, and you both watch as it walks around and falls off the table.

"I'm sorry, my boy." The last two words sound strange to hear, even though you've heard it from him before. "But I'm going to wake you up."

Your mind flits back to the crew on the Argo. Percy, Annabeth, Hazel, Frank- even the newly joined Nico would be disappointed in you, and would plead for you to stay. You're not entirely sure if you would. And then you think of Piper- _Jason_ \- and realize you should get back to them.

But then, there's here.

For however long you've been in _here_ , you figured out a lot about yourself by talking to Maria. Maria is you- _was_ you. She gives you advice, that you wouldn't have thought about yourself even though she's _you_. She's a great person, and she's what you could've been but didn't want to be. As much as she is the real you, she isn't the _real_ you. Leo is you, and you are Leo. Not Maria, anymore.

But your mother was here too, wasn't she? Didn't that mean something to you? You'd die to see her again, and this might be your only chance before you die.

"It's too late to make a decision," Hephaestus' gruff voice comes, and you feel a pinch on your ankle. You look down, to see the tiny robot's hand surrounding your ankle. It stings, and Hephaestus gives a sheepish smile (or as much of a smile the man could give). "Sorry, Leo."

Your vision grows blurry, and his face wavers in and out.

He says something, but you can't hear it, because all you can hear now is static, and you hope what he said wasn't important.

You close your eyes to blink, and when your eyes open again, you suddenly have Jason and Nico's concerned face in front of yours.

You jerk upright, and bang your head into Jason's, and both of you mutter curses. When you look around the room, you see the seven (and Nico, but he counted as being apart of the seven by now) with various looks of surprise over their features. You realize you're in the infirmary, laying on one of the beds, with coarse sheets scratching against your skin.

Surprisingly, Nico is the first one to speak, and he punches you in the arm, _hard._ "What the hell is wrong with you, Valdez?"

"Chill out, Death Breath." Your voice sounds raspy and sore, causing you to wince.

Nico looks like he's about to punch you again, until Jason gets in between the two of you. "What's wrong with you, di Angelo?"

"That idiot," Nico growls. "Was ready to die. I felt it."

You weren't really aware of when you were ready to die. Didn't your dad say you were in a coma? Wait- if you _were_ in a coma, would you really see your mama? Do ghosts get to visit people at random times or when their at _that_ time?

Piper gasps, and Jason's eyes widens. Hazel looks horrified. "That can't be true, Leo would never do that!"

Nico turns away, and begins walking towards the door. "Maybe, maybe not."

When Nico leaves, Hazel and Frank rushes out to follow. Percy gets shoved out the room by Annabeth, who looks surprisingly irritant.

"Jason. Mind giving us some time alone?" Annabeth says calmly, and Jason gives your hand a squeeze, before leaving quietly. The door clicks behind him, and Annabeth stares at you, with an eyebrow raised. "Maria."

Your eyes widen, and you glare at Piper, who winces. "I thought you were my friend! What the _fuck_." You throw one of the pillows on the bed at her.

Piper winces, and dodges. "Calm down, Leo. She found out by accident. Originally, Jason was supposed to change you, and work on your medical stuff, but I insisted she did."

"Oh," You calm down. "Sorry?"

"It's fine." Piper murmurs, and turns towards Annabeth. Annabeth has mixed feelings across her face.

"You should tell the others," Annabeth says, folding her arms. "I'm not telling you you _have_ to, I'm just saying you _should_."

You didn't plan on telling the others, but you don't tell Annabeth that. "Why am I here? It better not be because of my body."

"No," Annabeth grimaces. "You drowned."

" _What?_ "

Annabeth continues. "You jumped in the water after Jason, remember? You couldn't find him so when you were losing all your air, you drifted towards the bottom of the ocean floor."

"Oh." Was all you could really say. You nearly drowned, to save _Jason's_ _life_.

Annabeth still isn't done. "One of the sirens grabbed you around your ankle, when you lost consciousness, and Percy, Piper, Frank, and myself went to get you. We made Percy force the water out of your lungs."

"You actually did manage to wake up, but only for a brief second. Then you fell asleep in a coma, due to _head trauma_." Annabeth looks annoyed, and Piper leans into you.

"Uh, when we got you, Frank nearly dropped you across the bottom of the ocean." Piper whispers, and besides the fact that Frank nearly killed you, you begin laughing.

Your laughing becomes hysteria, until you're crying and in pain. "Then what happened?"

Annabeth shifts uncomfortably. "Jason felt terrible because you jumped for him, when he flew away at the last second. He offered to nurse you back to health when…" Annabeth tilts her head towards Piper. "Piper took me aside, and explained your situation."

You wipe away your tears, and give Piper a grateful look. You can imagine what might've happened if Jason found out. Annabeth was more sensible, and probably knew more about the subject than even _you_.

Then Annabeth frowns. "One of your ribs cracked, and your ankle was virtually crushed when the siren grabbed you. We used ambrosia, and drugs to build your bone back. It was probably a good thing you were sleeping. Did you feel it?"

"No."

"Good. Your ankle is fractured as of now," Annabeth's frown grew into a scowl. "Your rib didn't crack from you jumping. Well half of it was from the water pressure, but it was because of your ' _binder'_."

Shit. You figured it was too tight, but you didn't realize it was _that_ tight. It wasn't even an actual binder, it was just duct tape folded together to act like one.

"We're supposed to stop in a little bit," Annabeth's face softens. "If you want, we can buy an actual binder for you."

You perk up at the thought. It would be _perfect_ if you were able to get one for yourself. "Thank you." You say slowly, extremely grateful.

Annabeth nods, and turns around to walk out. "You should talk to Jason sooner or later. He feels terrible."

She leaves you alone with Piper, who yawns.

"How long?" You ask.

"What?" Piper says, confused.

You lift your blanket and examine your blanket. Your ankle is an ugly blackish purple, and you can see where each finger curled around your tiny ankle. Your toenails are also painted red but you don't really mind too much. "How long was I here? Sleeping."

Piper thinks about it, and that worries you. "Uhm, a week, maybe? Maybe a few days past that."

"A _week!?_ " Your jaw drops. "Do you have any idea, how much stuff I could've done?!"

Piper laughs, and places an arm around you. "Never change." she says, and places a kiss on your forehead. "I'm sending Jason in here."

Jason soon replaced Piper, and you realize he looks fucking _miserable_. His pretty blue eyes are ringed with dark bags, and his hair is untamed and looked dirty. Jason's fingernails looks chewed up and gross, and his clothes are disheveled. Is he wearing two different socks? Beyond that, he looked too tired for your liking.

"How are you?" Jason asks softly, coming closer to your bed. He sits on your side, and you scoot over, wincing at the slight pain in your chest. It seems as if you didn't have _any_ type of binder on. You pull up the covers up to your chin when you sit up.

"Fine, really. I can take over the world like this, dude."You say, bring a small smile towards Jason's face. "How are _you_?"

Jason's surprised by the question, and rubs the back of his neck. "Okay, now."

"That's good," You say casually. "Now stop being a fucking baby, and don't feel sorry for yourself. I _choose_ to save you."

"But you got hurt because of me." Jason stresses, and you slap a palm to your forehead. You wince because it was still tender from knocking heads with Jason earlier. "It's my fault you're here."

" _Ugh_ , Grace. Stop doing that heroic thing you're doing right now." You roll your eyes. "It's really not your fault. The siren's were controlling you, and I was the idiot who thought that I could save you."

"Leo, I-" You interrupt by pushing a finger on his lips.

"Shush, and lay here with me," You say, scooting over and patting the space next to you. "You're tired and I'm tired so let's be tired together."

Jason hesitates, but lays down next to you. He's a lot bigger than you, so you end up being an awkward little spoon, to an even awkwarder bigger spoon. But he's comfortable.

You're not sure when you manage to drift off but you do.

* * *

It almost takes you by surprise when you realize that Annabeth wasn't lying when she said she'll keep your secret.

She even offers you little tips, like sitting with your legs open, being louder than normal, and sometimes ignoring manners. She offers you some kind of drink that deepens your voice momentarily for a few hours, which was as long as you need. If anyone notices the difference, they put it off as a sudden hit of puberty.

(You realize how Annabeth is both scary and comforting, and see what Percy sees in her. So when she falls in Tartarus, you cry in the control room)

* * *

"In Katropis," Piper started, "I keep seeing that giant Clytius- the guy who's wrapped in shadows. I know his weakness is fire, but in my visions, he snuffs out fire wherever he goes. Any kind of light gets sucked into his cloud of darkness."

"Sounds like Nico," you joked. "You think they're related?"

Jason surprisingly scowled. "Hey, man, cut Nico some slack. So, Piper, what about this giant? What are you thinking?"

You and Piper exchange a quizzical look, like: _Since when does Jason defend Nico di Angelo?_ You want to comment about it, but it creates an angry feeling in your chest, like you want to lash out and hit something. By something, you mean di Angelo.

"I keep thinking about fire," Piper said. "How we expect Leo to beat this giant because he's…"

"Hot?" You suggested with a grin. Piper rolled her eyes, and Jason gave you a look.

"Um, let's go with _flammable_. Anyway, that line from the prophecy bothers me: _To storm or fire the world must fall."_

"Yeah, we know all about it," You promised. "You're going say I'm fire, and Jason here is storm."

Piper nodded, like she had no other option. You really did not want to talk about how part of the prophecy included you and _fire_.

The ship pitched to starboard. Jason grabbed the icy railing. "So you're worried one of us will endager the quest, maybe accidentally destroy the world."

Jeez, when he puts it like that, you actually think you might destroy the world.

"No," Piper said. "I think we've been reading that line the wrong way. The _world_ … the Earth. In Greek, the word for that would be…" She hesitated, as if saying the name would summon them.

"Gaea." Jason's eyes gleamed with sudden interest. "You mean, _to storm or fire Gaea must fall?_ "

"Oh…" You grin even wider. "You know, I like your version a lot better. 'Cause if Gaea falls to me, Mr. Fire, that is absolutely copacetic."

"Or to me...storm." Jason kissed her, and you try not to make a face. Not like it mattered, they were too busy eating each other's faces off. "Piper, that's brilliant! If you're right, this is great news. We just have to figure out which one of us destroys Gaea."

"Maybe." Piper looked uneasy. "But, see, it's storm _or_ fire…" She pulled out her dagger, Kato- _something_ , and puts it against the console. The blade flickered, showing the dark shape of the giant Clytius moving through a corridor.

"I'm worried about Leo and this fight with Clytius," she said. "That line in the prophecy makes it sound like only _one_ of you can succeed. And if the _storm or fire_ part is connected to the third line, _an oath to keep with a final breath_ …" She didn't finish, but you all knew what she was going to say.

Either you or Jason were going to defeat Gaea, and the other would… die.

* * *

"What are you _doing_? You blew up my dining table."

 _Uh-oh_.

You'd met a lot of goddesses, but the girl glaring down at you from the edge of the crater actually _looked_ like a goddess.

She wore a sleeveless white Greek-style dress with a gold braided belt. Her hair was long, straight, and golden brown- almost the same cinnamon-toast color as Hazel's. Her face was a milky pale, with dark, almond shape eyes and pouty lips. She looked about fifteen, about your age. She had this look to her face, like one of the popular girls who thought they were _so_ superior, and made your life a living hell.

You sort of disliked her immediately.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" you said, rolling your eyes. "I just fell out of the sky. I constructed a helicopter in midair, burst into flames halfway down, crash-landed, and barely survived. But by all means- let's talk about your dining table!"

You snatch up a half-melted goblet. "Who puts a dining table where innocent demigods can crash into it? Who _does_ that?"

The girl clenched her fists, and you were about 100% sure she was going to punch you in the face. Instead, she looked up at the sky.

"REALLY?" she screamed at the sky. "You want to make my curse even _worse_? Zeus! Hephaestus! Hermes! Have you no shame?"

"Uh…" This girl was probably a nut case. But she _did_ mention three gods, and one of them was your dad, which probably wasn't a good sign. "I doubt they're listening. You know, the whole split personality thing-"

"Show yourself!" the girl yelled. "It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few _good_ heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this- this charbroiled runt of

a girl to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take her back!"

Did she just say _girl_? "Hey, Sunshine." You said. "I'm right here, you know."

She growled. "Do not call me Sunshine!"

* * *

"You're that lady," You said. "The one who was named after Caribbean music."

Her eyes glinted murderously. "Caribbean music."

"Yeah. Reggae?" You shook your head, nah that can't be right. "Merengue?" That one doesn't sound right either. "Hold on, I'll get it."

You snapped your fingers. "Calypso! But Percy said you were awesome. He said you were all sweet and helpful, not, um…"

She shot to her feet. "Yes?"

"Uh, nothing," You said. No need to get crazy lady all fired up.

"Would you be _sweet_ ," she demanded, "if the gods forgot their promise to let you go? Would you be sweet if they _laughed_ at you by sending another hero, but a girl who looked like- like _you_?"

"Is that a trick question?" Your eyes narrowed. "And what do you mean by _girl like me_? I'm a _boy_."

Calypso rolled her eyes. "You're a girl who looks like- well, _you_."

"Whatever." You felt something burning in your chest, anger bubbling. "Fine, I'll leave you alone. I'll build something myself and get off this stupid island without your help."

She shook her head sadly. "You don't understand, do you? The gods are laughing at both of us. If the raft will not appear, that means they've closed off Ogygia. You're stuck here the same as me. You can never leave."

* * *

Even when she tried to ignore you, Calypso left gifts.

Her little invisible servants brought you food, that tasted divine. Was cider and stew the food of the gods?

She bought you clothes too. At first, it was just cotton stuff, until she bought you a pair of jeans, a white shirt, and your army fatigue jacket. She mentioned some mumbo-jumbo about _seeing the past is easy magic_. She also bought you a new homemade binder, and gave you a haircut.

In return, you fixed up some of her stuff, like her fountain, and tools.

You guess you can say, you were warming up to each other.

* * *

"You can't come back," Calypso insisted.

You feel weird, and unwelcomed, so you tell her that. "Because I'm not welcome?"

"Because you _can't._ It's impossible. No man finds Ogygia twice. That is the rule."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, well, you might've noticed I'm not good at following rules. I'm coming back here with my dragon, and we'll spring you. Take you wherever you want to go. Besides, I'm not _exactly_ a man. Ever tried it with a transgender?"

* * *

"The raft finally got here," you said.

Calypso snorted. Her eyes might have been red, but it was hard to tell in the moonlight. "You've noticed?"

"But it only shows up for guys you like-"

"Don't push your luck, Leo Valdez," she said. "I _still_ hate you."

"Okay."

"And you are _not_ coming back here," she insisted. "So don't give me any empty promises."

"How about a _full_ promise?" you said. "Because I'm definitely-"

She grabbed your face and pulled you into a kiss, which effectively shut you up. You've never kissed a girl before. Well, you've never kissed _anyone_ before, except for the sisterly pecks on the cheek from Piper, but those didn't count. It surprised both you, and Calypso.

Calypso said something, and you gave a response, but you couldn't really get the gist of it. Your heart was still pounding, because _wow_ \- a girl just kissed you.

You weren't in love with Calypso, she was a really great friend, and she was practically your other half (well, godly half because _Piper_ is your other half). But you still said it. You said it, completely disregarding all of the consequences completely.

Because you loved her, but you _didn't_ love her. You weren't _in_ love with her, you just loved her.

"I'm coming back for you, Calypso. I swear it on the River Styx."

* * *

You guess you couldn't keep it for a secret as long as you hoped. Hazel almost caught you… and Jason actually _did_ accidentally.

Everyone was wondering what happened to you while you were chilling with Calypso, and you were beyond irritated when you found out that the only _actual_ binder you had had fallen to the bottom of the ocean. Piper gave you some money- _euros_ \- to go on a pitstop in Spain to get one.

You mumble some half-assed excuse about _repairs_ , because you know they'll never question anything you say that has to do with your ship. Nico throws you a bored expression, and- _he knows_. You're pretty sure he can see right through you, and has probably known since day 1. You respect him for not saying anything. Ten points to Emo Kid.

" _Thank you for your purchases, I hope you have a great day_." The lady at the counter speaks in rapid spanish, and it takes you only a second to get it. You actually hate being in Spain, since some of the words they use are different from the Spanish you've learned. Semantics really, it just takes you a second longer than normal to get it.

The doorbell near the counter rings overhead, and you barely acknowledge it, until you hear, " _Leo_?"

There is Hazel, and Frank, the former seeming surprised, and the latter keeping his eyes on the ground. Poor Frank, the poor baby was too shy to look up in the women's underwear store.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" You laugh nervously.

Hazel gestures to the entirety of the store. "I need new clothes. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Uh," You look around. "Buying a bra?"

Frank turns a darker shade of red, and Hazel giggles. "Leo, you're an idiot."

"Yep, that's me," You say, trying to slide past them, without them seeing your bag. "Leo Valdez, local Repair Boy, and Idiot. Well, have fun!"

You dart through the doors, and down the streets of Spain. You sigh, as you slide into an empty street. Stores were closing, as this was the time that most people took a little _siesta_ from what Leo could remember about Spain. Your eyes narrow down when you see Piper nearly a block away.

Piper waves to you, and you bound down the street.

"Piper! Guess what, they almost didn't have my _size_ , and the stupid thing was almost too tight. Gosh, I wish Sunshine's binder didn't drown, that one was _super_ comfortable, and- oh." You stop in front of Piper. Who was next to Jason.

Jason stares at you with a strange look on his face. "Binder?"

Piper interrupts. "Uh, Leo? I got the thing, you were looking for." She waves a bag in front of your face.

Ah, yes, _that_ thing. You made Piper go and search for _testosterone shots_. You remember looking at some page a long time ago, and recently it's been on your mind again. Unfortunately, you didn't exactly have the money to pay for it, and from the looks of it, neither did Piper. Did she charmspeak a _doctor_ who spoke _a different language?_

You snatch the bag from Piper, to see a few boxes, and _yes-_ they were exactly what you needed. You just hoped the sick bay on the _Argo_ has needles.

"Thank you." You hug Piper, still ignoring Jason's question. You hope you never had to answer his question.

"What is it?" Jason tries to peer into the bag Piper hands you. You hold it close to your chest, taking a step back.

"Nothing."

Jason looks exasperated, and sticks his hand through his hair. "What's going on with you two? You're supposed to tell me stuff too." He's been nervous and jumpy ever since Annabeth and Percy fell. Maybe he gets nightmares. You know you do.

"It's nothing." You say, and dismiss him. He doesn't talk for the rest of the day, and it scares you.

You feel incredibly lonely, even though it was only _Jason_. You hate him for doing that to you.

* * *

Annabeth and Percy came back, looking worn and exhausted. They look pretty pitiful, and it hurts everyone to know, it's not over.

That same day, you took your first shot. Nothing really changed, but your mood was happier, knowing you were _one_ step closer. It was only painful because Piper doesn't know how to stick a needle in your thigh, and nearly killed you.

But it was worth it.

* * *

"Leo." Nico says.

You turn your head slightly, and focus back on the sky in front of you. You don't get why he's awake, because they should've all been sleeping every hour they get. But then again, you're awake too.

"Leo." Nico repeats, and you tap the spot next to you on the crow's mast.

"What? You missed me?" You roll your eyes. "Missed the Valdez experience? Come one, come all the Valdez train ride is about to leave the station."

Nico doesn't say anything for five minutes, and it's the most silent minutes of your life.

"You should tell them." He mutters, and then it's quiet afterwards. Of course he knew, he _fucking knew_ , because he's Nico di Angelo.

"Leave me alone." You say.

"Please," Nico pleads, and your head swivels. Why is he so persistent? "They're your friends, and they have the right to know."

You blanch. "They don't need to know anything. This is my secret, so _go away di Angelo_."

He stands up, and you jump up along with him. " _Leo_."

There's this sound in his voice. One that makes you want to cry, because _he_ sounds like he's on the edge of tears.

You still turn away, and make a step forward, until his arm catches yours. His hand is cold, and part of you wants to hug him. He's pathetic in that way, making everyone want to just stop what they're doing, and just take him away so no one can harm you. Piper said that about _you_ once, during one of those many nights at Wilderness.

"Why does this matter to you?" You shoot back.

Nico throws his hands in the air. "They're your _friends_. You're supposed to tell your friends everything. No matter how it might destroy relationships, or destroy Percy's trust! You _have_ to."

"Shut up, di Angelo-" You pause, and spin around to face him, and his arm grips tighter on yours. " _Percy's_ trust? What the hell is that supposed to mean? If anything, _Jason's_ the problem!"

Nico look visually relieved, when you said that. Why? Who knows, the kid is weird. "Just, tell them. Believe me, I know." Was the last thing he said, before disappearing into the shadows.

You shudder. Creepy kid.

But then your thoughts float back to what he was talking about. Maybe you _should_ tell them. Or at least Jason. You should probably tell Jason. It's the least you can do.

Out of the eight demigods on this boat, only four of them knew the truth. Maybe you _should_ say something.

* * *

You don't say anything.

Nico leaves with Coach Hedge (who you nearly forgot about), and Reyna to deliver the Athena Parthenos, and hopefully stop the war between the camps. You hope your siblings are going to be okay.

In other news, your skin is getting oily, and filled with more acne. Piper and Annabeth says it's normal when it comes with the injections. Annabeth's calling it FTM now, as in female-to-male, and you don't mind in the slightest.

In addition to more acne, you also have that weird thing with your boobs. Annabeth says they won't disappear completely, _but_ more of the mass that was supposed to go there, is traveling somewhere else. She didn't say where, so you pretty much expect you'll become a fat whale. Oh well. But, your boobs didn't feel like _boobs_ anymore. It was weird, because they felt even more like two bags of fat on your chest than usual. It was, however, a lot easier to wear a binder.

The biggest risk, according to Annabeth, is the whole demigod thing. She isn't exactly positive how the godly part of my body would react to the chemicals. Maybe the effects would be faster, or maybe some of them won't work at all.

It's scary in it's own way, but you were still generally happier. Work's been getting a little easier, now that your thoughts have been trained on elsewhere, and you think everyone else has picked up on it. The _Argo II_ seems a lot happier.

* * *

Jason. Percy. Hazel. Frank.

Those are the four names that fill your mind constantly (especially the blond's but you choose to ignore that one). Annabeth still thinks you should tell them, but she isn't persistent. She says she doesn't particularly like lying to Percy every week when she has to go and give you a new shot. She also claims they're wearing off quicker than normal, so instead of the supposed once or four times a month, you might have to take them once maybe even twice a week.

But the results are faster than normal, which is good. Better than good, _great_.

Piper doesn't care what you do. She claims that she'll support you if you tell them or not. Piper's still a great friend, even after all this crap you're pulling her through.

Nico is… Nico. He doesn't talk to you, but you can tell he's adamant about where he stands. He gives you this disappointed look, every morning, on the days you come down for breakfast. Part of you wonders if the look is even meant for you, or is he taking out his self-hatred on you. You are surprisingly perceptive when it came to that, but you still don't have a clue on why di Angelo cares so much, or why he thinks he knows what's best for you.

You decide to tell them, shortly after you, Frank, Hazel and Percy capture Nike.

Annabeth calls a meeting for you, and gives a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, before sitting next to Percy. His arm doesn't go around her instantly, and it takes a few seconds for it to happen. Neither of them realize, but you noticed.

Both of them had been a bit edgy since Tartarus, and the entire ship can sense it, even if they can't. Piper plasters on a thin lipped smile at the sight, and glances at Jason. She doesn't know what you're about to do, because you only told Annabeth.

Jason crosses his arms. "Yeah, Leo?" His voice is filled with concern, and he does that weird face thing he does that sends shivers down your back.

You take a deep breath, and it's deepest one you've ever took. "When I was young, I realized something about myself."

Piper blinks, because you never told her the entire story. Annabeth nods you on, and you exhale.

Your eye's lock on Frank's white sneakers. "I realized that I wasn't right- that I wasn't where I was supposed to be."

Percy takes a breath, like he's about to say something, but Piper elbows him. You continue.

"It took me a few years to realize what it was. I wasn't _there_. I wasn't the person that I was born as." You glance up, and Frank's red, Jason's mouth is open like a fish, and Percy and Hazel look confused.

Piper stands up. "What Leo is, shouldn't change anything. _Who_ Leo is, is important. You've all met Leo as _Leo_ , and you should continue acknowledging him as _Leo_." You're not entirely too sure if you heard some charmspeak spoken into that.

"Wait, what-" Percy's interrupted, when Annabeth whispers into his ear, and you see him stare you up and down.

The room feels really hot, and uncomfortable. Piper throws you a look, and you run your hand through your hair to smother the flames starting.

"Oh," Hazel says, her cheeks tinging a little pink. She places her hand in her lap delicately. "I'm happy you told us."

Frank nods, finally overcoming his shocked state, and you smile thankfully. Percy gives you a meaningful look, and a thumbs up, before pulling Annabeth out the room. The people disperse slowly, and you let a deep breath, closing your eyes. You slump in your chair, and spin it around.

"Leo?" Your eyes open, to see Jason staring at you strangely.

"Yeah?" Both of you choose to ignore the way your voice cracks, and you scratch your elbow.

"So you're- um, you're a," Jason hesitates, not sure what to say.

You lean forward. "Transgender. FTM from what Annabeth tells me."

Jason nods, before staring in confusion. "Wait, _Annabeth_ knew before _me_?"

"It was an accident." You confess, moving your eyes from his face to the floor. You stick your hands in your tool belt, pulling out random mints, and gum wrappers.

"Oh," Jason says, before moving closer. His hands enclose around yours, and he holds them tightly. You're sure he can hear the pounding in your chest, and hope you don't burn your hands off. "It's okay."

Not… exactly what you wanted to hear, but it was what you _needed_ to hear. That everything is okay, and it'll be alright.

* * *

"You want one thing," Piper said soothingly, her voice resonating throughout. "One word. You want permission to close your eyes and forget your troubles. You-want-SLEEP."

Gaea solidified into human form. Her head lolled, her eyes closed, and she went limp in Festus's claws. The storm started to disappear, as you look over to see Jason falling out too.

"Leo!" Piper gasped for breath. "We only have a few seconds. My charmspeak won't-"

" _I know!"_ You shouted back. The flames surrounding you didn't hurt as you tried to burn brighter. In the middle of all the heat, you can feel it, this impending feeling of dread, knowing exactly what you're about to do.

"I can't contain the fire much longer. I'll vaporize her," You said, in hopes of reassuring Piper. "Don't wory. But you guys need to leave."

"No!" Jason said. "We have to stay with you. Piper's got the cure. Leo, you can't-" Damn, Grace and his loaylty, why couldn't he just _listen_ to you for once?

"Hey." You grinned. "I told you I had a plan. When are you guys going to trust me? And by the way- I love you guys."

You hope they heard that, as Festus's claw opened, and Jason and Piper fell.

You can hear both of them calling you name, but you keep your eyes locked on Gaea. THere was no way, she was going to win, after everything you've done.

Gaea awakes slowly, until she's staring at you with wide eyes. You give a two fingered salute.

" _Adios,_ Dirt bag. I got my revenge." You say, and you hear the comet before you see it. It come with a high-pitched scream as it impacted with Festus.

For the first time in your life, you feel the burn. It _burns_ , like something eating at you from _everywhere_ , and you scream as the comet impacts you and Festus.

It hurts like Hades, and you explode into dust.

* * *

Being dead, and then being undead hurts. Like you've suddenly been electrocuted by a million jumper cables.

* * *

"So once you leave Ogygia," You say, "do you stay immortal or what?"

"I have no idea."

"And you're okay with that?"

"More than okay."

"Well, then!" You turned towards your dragon. "Buddy, you up for another flight to nowhere in particular?"

Festus blew fire and limped around.

"So we take off with no plan," Calypso said. "No idea where we'll go or what problems await beyond this island. Many questions, and no tidy answers?"

You shrugged, turning up your palms. "That's how I fly, Sunshine. Can I get your bags?"

"Absolutely."

Five minutes later, with Calypso's arms around your waist, you spurred Festus into flight. The bronze dragon spread his wings, and they soared into the unknown.

* * *

 **Notes (there's a lot so...):**

 **[1] First off, disclaimer: I do not own The Heroes of Olympus series, or any of it's characters. I also do not own any of the scenes in this that have been taken, and give direct credit to Rick Riordan.**

 **[2] I would just like to acknowledge the very helpful website known as {www. revelandriot resources/trans-health/} because that helped with some of the information i needed in regards to the hormonal shots that Leo used, so check that out if you want**

 **[3] This actually took the longest time to do. Originally I was writing in the beginning of last year's summer, but then I stopped. Skip a few months into December or January, where I was reminded to finish this. Originally it was planned to be published on Valentine's Day but you know *laziness* and the fact that I was stuck on whether or not to include some things. So shoutouts to those supportive and those who slapped me upthe head demanding I finish.**

 **[4] Uh, one of the biggest issues is probably the whole past and present tense thing. Yeaaaaah, when I finished writing this, I looked back on the amount of words and said, "Nope." _But_ , as it turned out, most of the scenes that directly came from the books, ended up being in past tense, with the rest in present. Which is weird, but you managed to read his far, so I'm guessing it didn't faze you.**

 **[5] Hmm, literally everything from before Jason is made up, so shhhh, I realized while I was taking scenes from the books, that half of it contradicts with what's canon but shhhhh we're not going to talk about that.**

 **[6] I actually knew about 5 things about Transgenders before this, and know I know a bunch of things after this lovely project. Perhaps, I'll make another Trans!Leo fic in the future? Even though this was a pain to write, and it'll probably be one of the longest oneshot I'll ever write again for now, I might still think about it. I have a million ideas in my head, that I can't wait to get out.**

 **[7] I'm also a little sorry about the ending, but that was how Blood of Olympus ended *shrug***

 **[*] Ahhh thanks a bunch, Platinum. Anime07 for being the first reader and helping me feel for more confident about sharing this! :D**

 **[*] I REALLY WANT TO RECOGNIZE MY AMAZING FRIEND, EVE, Because she came out as transgender when I was writing this. I also laugh, because she was born as _Adam_ so the name she goes by is _Eve_ , as a "FUCK YOU" to her mother, a heavily catholic person who practically hates LGBT peoples. So yeah, fuck you Eve's mother.**

 **[*] Kudos to every unrepresented Transgender. You rock, and you need more representation in culture. *fistbump***


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